When you are starting your journey on how to learn Pashto, the very first thing you need to master is the "identity" ending. In the KPK dialect , especially the way we speak in Kohat , the verb usually comes at the very end of the sentence. This is where the rules of Yam and Yu come into play. The word Yam (یم) is used exclusively for yourself. Whenever you start a sentence with " Za " (meaning I), you must finish it with "Yam." It functions like the word "am" in English. For instance, if you want to tell someone you are fine, you say "Za kha yam." Whether you are hungry, tired, or happy, as long as you are talking about yourself, "Yam" is your anchor. It is a simple pattern that builds immediate confidence in your speaking ability. On the other hand, we have Yu (یو). This is the plural form used when you are talking as a group. In our culture, the "we" is often more important than the "I...
All of us must have experienced embarrassment at least once in our lives. It is not a big deal for most of us, but some extra sensitive people cannot get rid of the guilt and shame of the incident. This is for those brothers and sisters. The first hints are for during the embarrassment, and later are the post-embarrassment phase.
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1. If you are in the middle of the action when you get embarrassed, leave that there. If you got jumbled telling a joke, stop there. Don’t try to complete it.
3. Get away from the place of the incident. If the situation drifts away beyond control then leave that place. The world has not ended; you may repair your reputations.
4. Post-embarrassment: Don’t blame yourself. Our minds are our biggest critics. Remember: The past doesn’t exist anywhere except in our minds. You forget the incident, and the guilt ends there for good.
5. Some people want to tease you. A simple remedy is to laugh with them. When they remind you of that incident, just say ‘I am such a clumsy person, etc. They will realize that you don’t feel embarrassed anymore, and they will lose their cause of teasing you. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, hang around with someone who will stick up for you. Then all you have to do is smile and nod.
Tips
* The most important fact about dealing with any embarrassing situation is: take it easy.
* Our brain is a living machine. The most interesting thing about machines is that you can make them work a certain way. Don't give importance to the incident, and you will forget it in a few days.
* The past doesn’t exist anywhere except in our minds; you forget the incident, and the guilt ends there for good.
* If it's something you can fix, fix it! Maybe you tripped up on your skateboard while you were showing off to your friends, and now they laugh at you. So what? Just practice your skills and show them that you're not to be laughed at! Embarrassment isn't something that you should lose a friend over, so don't fight the person who laughs at you.
* Most people would be supportive and would not remind you of your embarrassment.
If you liked this article, you may find this article helpful, too: One Message Can Make Someone's Day. Check this self-help body language mini-course.
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